Reactive Approaches: Take 3

Reactive Approaches: Take 3

​Take 3 is an approach you can use to help your little one follow through with expectations. This approach is a modified version of the 1 2 3 Magic Program.

The 1 2 3 Magic program includes a timeout if the request is not completed by the third request. I like to modify it to help your child complete the request.

Say what??

This is when you give your child 2 chances to follow an expectation. If the expectation is not completed then on the third request you help your child.

You may be saying “Brenda please explain yourself”.

Here goes..

 
Step 1

You ask your child to do something.

For example: “Joe please go wash your hands for super”

Joe: “NO”

Parent; “Joe it is time to wash your hands, that is one”

Joe: still not moving

 
Step 2

You remind your child what is expected.

Parent: “Joe it is time to wash your hands, that is two”

Joe: still not moving

 
Step 3

Parent: Moving towards Joe “It it time to wash your hands, you can walk or I can help you”

Joe: Refused so parent carries Joe to the bathroom

 

You will find that your child may get frustrated or angry when you start the count. That is a good sign. It means that they understand that you will follow through.

Please let me know if you have any questions about this technique.

 

Natural and Logical Consequences

I am often asked.. “what is an appropriate way to handle my child’s (undesired) behaviour?”

There are going to be many times in your child’s life that their behaviour is less than desired. As discussed previously, there are 2 basic ways to handle the behaviours. You can are in a proactive or reactive manner. There is time and a place for both of these ways of handling a behaviour.

Consequences given to your child for a behaviour is an example of a reactive manner. The most productive consequences are the ones that are Natural and Logical.

 

What is a Natural Consequence?

 

A natural consequence is something that happens naturally when your child chooses to do something. The consequence is not given by an adult but results form an action a child does.

The following are examples of behaviours that happen and the natural consequence that occur.

Will not put on coat

Your child will feel the effects of the cold air or wet weather.

Refuse to eat

If you offer your child a snack and he refuses it he will be hungry.

No Homework Done

Your child will have to deal with the consequences at school.

Bedtime Stalling

Your child will be tired the next day and will need a nap.

The key with natural consequences is that you allow your child to feel the natural consequence as long as it is not a safety issue. There have been many times that our son has decided he did not want to wear a coat when it was cold outside. Refusing to wear a coat could be a safety issue so I would ask him to carry a coat or I would grab one on the way out the door. After a few minutes of being cold, the jacket was excepted without issue.

It can be hard to refrain from saying “I told you it would be cold”. These types of statements are not super productive. 

 

What is a Logical Consequence?

 

A logical consequence is something that an adult imposes on a child due to a behaviour. The consequence given is best if related to the behaviour that is occurred.

The following are examples of logical consequences that occur after a behaviour.

"Hit you sit"

Your child is asked to sit down after hitting someone. This gives the person hit a chance to regroup.

Toy Timeout

If your child is not playing with a toy appropriately, the toy is removed for a set period of time.

No Electonics

If your child’s behaviour is off after electronics then the use of electronics is removed.

The key to a logical consequence is that it has to relate to the behaviour. If the consequence does not relate to the bahaviour then it is not longer a consequence and it is a punishment. Effective logical consequences are given right after the behaviour occurs and are followed through with.

Please feel free to send me a message if you are wondering what a natural or logical response can be for a particular behaviour.

I look forward to helping you be the parent you want to be!